Busy Days

Since Cooper arrived in Wilton on Saturday evening, he has had two busy days.

Sunday morning started with a trip to PetCo for dog tags, collar and leash. Each of our dogs has had a distinct color and we chose green for Cooper. The checkout girl said she thought Cooper was 1-2 years old!

Next was a trip to the do-it-yourself dog wash. Cooper is so thin, that we didn't want to put him under the cold hose in the yard. Cooper was a little nervous, but did great. I wish I had remembered the camera.

On Monday morning, Cooper got his Wilton dog license. Later in the day, Cooper met his dog walker, Carol.

Monday afternoon ended with a trip to Norwalk Vet Hospital and a checkup with Dr. Duffy. Dr. Duffy said that Cooper's ideal weight is about 62 pounds (he is 55) and thinks he is about 5 years old. He suggested cutting Cooper's food down (no more lunch time meals). We asked about allergies and were told to try Benadryl. If the itching continues, cortisone shots could be done for a short period of time (this was listed as a last resort, as there are side effects).

Cooper may have a slight ear infection, so the Dr. put some drops in and said to watch it. If it still is bad next week, we will need to go back for some medication.

Dr Duffy said that Cooper's skin and coat will take months to get better. He said that we are doing the right things (food, supplements) and now we need to be patient. In 3-6 months we should see a difference.

Danny's Place

We have been wanting to plant Danny's memorial tree for a while now, but weren't sure what to get. We saw a fully grown tree hydrangea in a neighbor's yard and it was so beautiful that we decided to buy one.

I am hoping that the deer will ignore this plant, so it can flourish and stand as a permanent reminder of our special dog.

As we were planting the tree, Cooper stood on the deck watching and barking, reminding us that life goes on. The weeks and months may pass, put Danny will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Heeeere's Cooper

The trip to get Cooper home was pretty uneventful. We just made it home as Hanna arrived and got to take Cooper out for his first walk in the middle of a rain storm. He took it all in stride.

I'm trying something new with the second picture. It's a video of Cooper discovering Mr. Celery. Oddly enough, the music in the background was actually on the TV while this was going on.

Memories

I took Danny's box down from the shelf in the basement and when I opened it a hundred memories came flooding back.

I unwrapped his food and water bowls and put them back in their previous locations.

The toys were the hardest part. Danny had a favorite toy that he would swing, throw and catch and then repeat all over again. I still smile when that image comes to mind.

The pile of toys and empty bowls are a reminder of our loss. When Cooper arrives, I hope they will become part of new happier moments.

Valerie

We received this Royal Dalton figurine as an anniversary gift.

I thought she was beautiful, but did not understand the significance. I was told to turn the figurine over. One the base is her name - "Valerie".

What a wonderful and thoughtful gift!

Valerie now sits atop my antique desk.

Kykuit - Part II

Here are some more Kykuit photos.

Kykuit

We spent today at Kykuit, the Rockefeller estate in Sleepy Hollow, NY. The weather was beautiful and it was a pleasure to be out in the beautiful gardens.

The house is nice, but not as grand as we expected. It seems that John D. Rockefeller's strong Baptist heritage meant he was more focused on family and philanthropy rather than the ostentatious homes of the Gilded Age.

The gardens were magnificent. Nelson collected a significant amount of sculpture that is scattered throughout the estate. The entire home is filled with expensive art and sculpture. In what other basement will you find several works by Picasso ?

There is a 9 hole reversible golf course and a "playhouse" that is larger than most modern mansions. There were beautiful carriages and older cars on display in the carriage house.

I would highly recommend a visit to Kykuit.

How Fast?

I may have been going a couple MPH over the speed limit. I checked my GPS later and what did it say?

Pickup Time

We will be picking Cooper up on Sept 6. Linda is being very nice and she will drive 2 hours south, so we only have to drive 3 hours to Massachusetts.

I had packed away all the toys and bowls when Danny passed. I also donated all his heartworm and flea control treatment to SGRR. I now need to unbox all these items and get the house ready for a new dog.

Cooper Update

Linda took Cooper to the vet today. Good news - he now weighs 54 pounds and is between 2-5 years of age. The vet said Cooper was definitely not 7 years old.

It seems that Linda has the magic touch!

Cooper is scratching a lot and it may be due to allergies. Cooper got a cortisone shot and we will have to follow up with our vet. His coat is still in bad shape and he has some bare spots, but with time and good nutrition, that should get better.

Linda said Cooper loves to be a copilot in the car- just sits on the passenger front seat and looks out the window. I am wondering how he will handle the back seat.

Anniversary

When my Mom heard we were getting another dog she said, "I guess that's your anniversary gift". I laughed because after we decided to adopt Cooper, Jeff said "Happy Anniversary, I'm getting you a dog".

Our anniversary is actually this coming weekend - 17 years! I had two thoughts, 1)where has the time gone and 2)we are getting OLD! The truth is that I know I am lucky to have found my soulmate.

Jeff's parent's will celebrate their Golden anniversary next week. Now that is really a reason to celebrate.

Waiting

We are hoping to pick up Cooper on Sept 6. We still need to work out the details with his foster Mom, Linda. In just a few weeks we will again have a Golden boy sharing our lives.

I asked if Linda minded keeping Cooper until the 6th and she said no,she wants to fatten him up a little. Linda also wants to take Cooper to the vet to see why he is chewing himself and to recheck for worms.

I said that I could never be a foster Mom - how do you give up a dog that you have cared for ? Linda said that most of the dogs aren't too hard to let go of, but the ones that REALLY need you are tough to say goodbye to.

Looking back, I realize that she was talking about Cooper. Is she concerned about what will happen to this special dog? I hope that Linda will occasionally visit this blog to read Cooper's story.

Cooper

I guess you never know what fate has in store. We just decided to adopt again and last night I saw Cooper’s picture on the SGRR website. On a page with 20 beautiful dogs, Cooper stands out because he is far from beautiful.

You see Cooper was literally starved and then abandoned. As a result, he is extremely thin and has a wispy coat. How this dog survived 7 years of neglect is a mystery to me.

I looked at Cooper and thought “We couldn’t save Danny, but maybe we can help this one”. So, I sent off an email and application, expecting that it would be several days before we heard. Two hours later there was a response – we were green lighted to adopt. Because we previously adopted Danny from Sunshine Golden Rescue, we did not need a phone or home interview.

I called Cooper’s foster Mom, Linda P in Maine this morning. (Isn’t it odd that both Danny and Cooper’s fosters were named Linda and lived in Maine). Linda said Cooper is sweet but will require a lot of love and training. She thinks he was never walked (poor leash skills), rarely in a car, etc. The amazing thing is that he still likes people.

My heart broke again, when she said, the team in Alabama got his weight up to 40 lbs, so now he can be fostered. Just how emaciated was this dog ? Cooper’s target goal is 60-65 lbs. Cooper is on limited exercise – due to his thinness and lack of muscle. Linda said when you pet him, all you feel is bone.

I hung up the phone and wondered if we could really commit to this. Jeff and I talked – we do not know what long term health issues there may be or what Cooper’s emotional issues are. Adopting a senior means that you will only have a dog for a few years at best, much less at worst and Cooper’s history is not in our favor. But then we looked at his picture with the dark eyes full of hope and agreed that if anyone can help Cooper, it should be us.

New Beginnings

When Danny died, I said no more dogs. The heartbreak was just too great. I could not imagine loving another dog and losing them too.

But the days pass slowly and the house is too quiet and we are too sad. I miss Danny’s companionship, playfulness and Golden smile.

We started thinking about adopting another Golden. This is not an easy decision. I asked myself a million questions. Had we mourned long enough ? Would it seem we were trying to replace or erase Danny’s memory ? Can I accept that a new dog will be unique (not Danny) and love him for himself ? Danny was an incredible dog – will my expectations be too great ?

After considerable soul searching, I realized that: My heart will always ache for Danny, just as it does for our other dogs; Danny will never be forgotten; Danny was not Jake (our first Golden), but we adored him.

Someone told us, if you are truly a dog person, you will always want a dog to share your life. Danny’s foster Mom, Linda, said it best – By getting a new dog, we honor our previous dog because they have added so much to our lives that even though the pain of losing them is great we are willing to risk our hearts all over again.

We will soon begin the Sunshine Golden Retriever Rescue adoption process (application, phone interview, home interview). With a little luck, by Thanksgiving, there may be a new member of our pack.

Retail

I'm not sure I ever appreciated working in retail while I was growing up. Oh, I appreciated the opportunity to work and being the boss' son probably made it easier than it could have been. But the intangibles I gained were invaluable life lessons. Simple things like how to make change.

This skill came in handy twice yesterday. I owed a colleague $15, but all I had was a $20 and a $5. While he was handing me three ones, I noticed a $10 in his wallet. I handed him back his three ones plus a $5 expecting the $10 back.

Silence. I guess I just caught him off guard.

Later that evening, I was on my way back from a meeting when I decided to stop into McDonalds to get a couple Apple Pies for $1. The cashier rang me up and pronounced $1.06 (we can't forget Uncle Sam). No problem, I gave her a $1 bill and a dime. As she was counting out four pennies, I piped up and said, "Wait, I have a penny..." and handed it to her.

Silence.

Then she called for the manager for a "void". No, I am not kidding.

The manager comes over (all 19 years of him) and tells the cashier to figure out the change.

So the cashier pulls out a calculator....

Fire Museum & Educational Center

While we were in Charleston we visited a new museum, the Fire Museum andEducational Center.

They have restored fire trucks from the American LaFrance company from every era.

In addition, they have fire safety demonstrations, movies, and you could even climb into a Fire Truck Simulator. Valerie hopped in the simulator and started honking horns and sirens!

Kiawah Island

Kiawah is a private island about 20 miles from Charleston, SC.

Kiawah is one of our favorite vacation spots.

These pictures illustrate the beautiful beach better than any words could.

Charleston, SC

You know it is HOT when Valerie says, "It's too hot, I don't want to visit the shops on King St".

To be fair, there was a heat advisory in effect and the 97 degree temperature with humidity felt like 107. However, to not want to shop was unheard of. To stop after only 4 hours left me wondering if the era of the great shopasaurus was coming to an end.

Later, while eating at the Crab Shack, Valerie said, "I don't know if I can live down here. I forgot how hot it gets in the South". So much for retiring on Kiawah Island,SC.

However, after a few sweet teas and a bucket of shrimp and crab legs, Valerie was feeling much happier. A large piece of key lime pie sealed the deal and I heard, "Maybe living here wouldn't be so bad."

Red Robin

We always see the ads for Red Robin restaurants on tv, but there are none located near us. So, when we found out that we would be passing by one in Virginia we decided to stop for lunch.

Red Robin’s specialty is hamburgers, lots and lots of hamburgers. We both thought the burgers were great, hot and juicy. They also have fantastic milkshakes.

The endless basket of fries was a nice surprise. We had a very attentive waiter, who happily exchanged our empty basket for more fries.

The only disappointment is that Robin the mascot only visits on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. I thought seeing a dancing robin would be fun.

We would definitely recommend visiting Red Robin, if you like burgers.

Holy Croakers, Batman!

We finally finished the bedroom painting! The color doesn't really show well in these pictures, but it's a medium green (kinda like a frog).

Dead at 170

After 170K miles, the Civic is dead.

The insurance company said that the car is a total loss. The Civic has been towed away and the registration and insurance canceled.

We have no plans to buy another car, so I will be driving the 4Runner from now on.

F350 vs Civic

I've heard it said that any accident you can walk away from is a good accident.

This is what the Civic looks like after being hit by a Ford F350 truck. As you can see, the trunk no longer exists.

I was stopped at a red light and hit from behind. Luckily the truck wasn't moving faster.

I had hoped to get 200K miles out of this car, but 170K may be the limit.

A very odd Hydrangea

We've had a Hydrangea of some sort at every house we've owned. At our house in Apex, North Carolina, we had some Oak Leaf Hydrangeas that bloomed white each year. The house in Oxford had a Hydrangea that somebody planted before we got there. It bloomed in a nice tarheel blue every year we were there.

When we moved to Wilton, we encountered our third Hydrangea. The first Summer we were here, it didn't bloom, perhaps because I pruned it too early or late. This year, I didn't touch it at all and we were welcomed by this very vibrant beauty. I've never seen one this color!

A Sweet Tooth

About a week ago, one of Valerie's hummingbird feeders disappeared off the deck.

"I can't believe somebody stole my Hummingbird Feeder!" was her first reaction.

"Why would somebody want to steal my Hummingbird feeder? Who would want to do that?" she continued on.

"Maybe it just fell down", I piped up. Now, we've been married nearly 17 years and you'd think by now I'd know not to get in the middle of a tempest. I'm odd that way. Or stupid.

"It didn't fall down! Do you see it anywhere?"

"Um, no?"

"Somebody stole it!"

"Why don't you look in the bushes?"

"It's not in the bushes! Do you see it in the bushes?"

"Um, no?"

Realizing at this point that a call will be dispatched to Wilton 911 any second, I think it best to mosey inside. I picture the conversation in my head:

"Wilton 911, what is your emergency?"
"My bird feeder has been stolen!"
"Your what has been what?"
"MY BIRD FEEDER HAS BEEN STOLEN!"
"Ma'am, that's not an emergency."
"I want the Crime Scene Investigator out here in 5 minutes! Bring your fingerprinting equipment and I want to see one of those black light things! Stat!"

This was not going to be good. In an effort to offer my support, I mention that maybe she look under the deck.

"Do you see it under the deck?"

"Um, no. But maybe that's why you should look there."

I threw a pizza in the oven, hoping beyond hope that the feeder is under the deck. As Valerie comes tromping back up she has a somewhat beat-up feeder in her hands.

"Did you put it down there?"

I pretend not to hear her.

"Why would somebody take my feeder off the hook and put it under the deck?"

"Some animal probably knocked it off" I added. Yes, you're right, I should have left it alone, but at this point it was getting fun.

She went back through her ritual of cleaning the feeder and refilling it with her secret recipe of super-concentrated nectar (ie. sugar water) before hanging it back out.

Three days later, we got home and there was the feeder, a good ten feet from where it hung the day before. The top was pried open and it was bone dry. We finally decided that the only two animals that might have enough intelligence and dexterity to actually move the feeder would be a Raccoon or a Bear.

My money's on the bear.

From Whence Evil Comes

It had finally cooled down the other night, so we opened the windows for the night. I was having a hard time sleeping when I heard an owl outside. He was just hoot, hoot, hootin' away and it didn't help me get to sleep at all.

At last, he went quiet for a few minutes.

All of a sudden, I heard a squealing like I've never heard before. Squealing and screeching like something was holding on to dear life. The sound got weaker and weaker like it was floating away. Later, I thought the owl may have set himself up with a nice mouse or squirrel dinner.

Valerie heard it too. The next day I came home to various owl sounds from OwlPages.com and she was trying to identify which species from the sounds it made. I think she finally settled on Great Horned Owl. Whoooo'd a thunk it?

The Stair Stare

I was looking back through the pictures we've taken over the last year and a half. Some made it to the blog and some didn't. This is one of the pictures that didn't because his eyes look a little evil, but it still evokes a fond memory.

Every night when I used to get home, I'd call up from the basement.

"Papa's Home!", I'd yell at the top of my lungs.

Within a few seconds, I'd get this look.

Therapy

I've debated long and hard about where Wilton Diaries should go now that our main writer has lost her inspiration. Sure, I can keep you abreast of what's going on in Wilton but this blog isn't really about Wilton, it's about us.

Our life.

And a great part of our life was Danny.

And a great part of our life now is coping without Danny.

From time to time you might see a post about Danny pop up when I'm thinking about him. If that turns you off, I am sorry. Maybe, just maybe, remembering him will help the healing. I also don't want this blog to become an electronic wailing wall. Occasionally it will be, but mostly it will be about us. I appreciate your companionship on this journey.

Keeping Busy

We've been keeping busy the last few week doing things around the house. Valerie and I have a deal that if we get our bedroom ready to paint by July 13th, I can take the 19th and 20th off for some fun. Getting the bedroom to that point will be a quite a chore because it entails putting up a ceiling fan, patching where the skylight was, and all the normal touch-up things that go along with painting. So far, I'm ahead of schedule and I've got a three day weekend coming up, so it looks like I might get to play.

The pictures are of some recent work we just finished in the hallway and the ceiling fan I just got up Sunday.

Endings

We picked up Danny's ashes today.

Danny will be buried in a peaceful spot along side our two other dogs. When we find the perfect bush or tree that reflects Danny's spirit, we will plant it in memory of this wonderful dog.

As Danny's story has ended, so will my updates to this blog. For me, Danny was the soul of Wilton Diaries and to write about a life that does not include him is just too hard.

Jeff will take over with occasional updates.

I thank everyone who took the time to read about our Wilton adventures and shared our laughter and tears.

The New Roof

This post was going to have pictures of the house with it's roof half done. But as you can see, Rick's Main Roofing was able to get the whole thing done in a day.


The crew showed up a little before 8:00AM and immediately got to work. Both Valerie and were leaving for the day, but we fully expected to come home to a house with half of the roof done and half not done.

At about 9:30AM, I got a call from the foreman. The plywood on the left side of the house had de-laminated after 40 years. In other words, the layers of plywood had started to separate from each other. So, of course we had to replace that.

We also had them cover up the skylight in our bedroom. It was the stupidest placement and was probably the cheapest skylight on the market. I was just waiting for it to start leaking.

When Valerie got home about 5:30PM, they were just finishing up. The whole thing! Other than the dumpster in the driveway, you'd never know they were here.

A Week

It's been one long week since our Danny boy passed to the other side.

First the remainder of his food was tossed. After a couple days his bowls got picked up. His bed still awaits his return right next to me. Maybe it will remain a permanent fixture.

I woke up in the middle of the night a couple days ago with the weight of his head on my hip. Am I crazy?

Thanks to everyone who has sent their well wishes. It's good to know you have people on your side when you are going through tough times.

I sure am glad we chronicled his life on Wilton Diaries. I look at his pictures and relive the little moments every day.

Quiet

The house was way too quiet last night.

As violent thunderstorms raged through western Fairfield county, I expected to be nudged by my boy, a little scared by the sounds. The nudge never came. Yet with all the thunder, an absence was felt.

The routines are hard to break. A pat on the bed when I get in to call him up. Expecting to see him lounging on the bed as I step out of the shower. His bed still lays next to my side of the bed. I can't put it away just yet.

We took all three boys along in spirit on our morning walk today. I truly believe dogs go to heaven and they were looking down on us as we turned the corner for home. While he was only with us for 20 months, I like to think we packed a full lifetime of love in that time.

He was a Golden to the end. Never cross, never angry. If he was in pain, we couldn't tell. Even on Monday night he played fetch to near exhaustion.

My heart is broken, again. I swore off dogs when Jake passed away, this part is just too hard. I will never forget you my friend.

Danny's Gone

Danny had surgery today. When the vet opened Danny up, he found that the cancer had spread to most of Danny's organs. At best, they said Danny would have a few days to live.

We decided to let Danny pass, while he was still under sedation and before he began to feel the pain of surgery.

Jeff and I both got to see him one last time and say goodbye.

I hope that Danny knows how much we loved him and how much we will miss him.

Danny was a very special dog that will never be forgotten.

Franklin

This is Franklin. Franklin was made by a family friend and arrived at our doorstep several years ago during a very dark time.

The first time I looked at this bear, I thought "Franklin" and thus he was named.

Franklin now sits in in the office, high up and out of harms way. (Did I ever mention that Danny loves to tear apart soft objects ?)

Franklin is a symbol of the bleakest and the best days in our life. He silently reminds me of how much a small gesture can mean. So now, when I hear a friend is ill or going through a tough time, I pick up the phone or send a card or email.

Who would have ever thought that a little bear could be so wise ?

Dishwasher

With only two of us in the house and not eating too many meals at home this week, it took a while to fill up the dishwasher.

I finally ran a load of dishes and I have to say that the Bosch is definitely quieter than our old Maytag dishwasher.

There is still some noise when the dishwasher runs, but not much.

Ultrasound

The radiologist read the ultrasound and said that Danny's tumor is either in the spleen or omentum. The recommendation is to have surgery to remove the mass and then a biopsy.

The surgery is scheduled for Tuesday. If there are no complications, Danny should be home on Thursday. That would be the best birthday gift.

I asked about the need for chemotherapy or radiation. The Dr. said that once we have the biopsy results, future treatment recommendations will be determined.The vet said that depending on the type of cancer, the prognosis could be 3 months to 2 years.

During the surgery, there will be a visual inspection of lymph nodes and other organs. The vet warned that the cancer could have spread, but we just don't see it yet. I find it odd that cancers are discussed as good cancer or bad cancer, when in fact all are terrible. I guess it is just really a way to measure survival rates.

We are trying to stay positive and take this one step at a time. At least for today, we have hope that we can slow this disease without causing Danny too much pain.

Pink Belly

Danny had the ultrasound today. The vet said he was a great patient, no need for anesthesia. Danny just laid down and let the technician do his job.

As you can see, Danny's beautiful coat was shaved off and he now has the new nickname of "pink belly".

The radiologist will read the ultrasound tomorrow and then we will decide how to proceed.

The tumor is on Danny's spleen. The technician did not see any tumors in the liver or lungs. If this is true, then the vet recommends surgery.

Surgery would hopefully give us some additional time with this special dog. How much time will depend on the type of cancer.

To everyone who has called or emailed or said a prayer, thank you!

I think that Danny may be the most loved dog in Wilton.

Danny's Sick

Cancer. One word, one moment and everything changes.

Danny has cancer.

Danny has been skipping meals and we decided that he should see the vet to be sure that there was nothing seriously wrong. The vet thought she felt something in his abdomen and said perhaps he ate a rock or a piece of rawhide.

The X-ray revealed my greatest fear, a large tumor in his abdomen. I asked if it could not be cancer and the answer was no. Such a large mass in such a young dog is definitely cancer.

Tomorrow Danny will have an ultrasound. If the tumor has spread to his lungs or liver, his prognosis (at best) is 3 months.

If the cancer has not spread, surgery could be a possibility. The surgery is complex and recovery time is 2 months. The vet did not want to go into details until we know what we are dealing with.

I am heartbroken, but managed to not break down in the vet's office. Driving home was a different matter.

I don't know if it is wrong to pray for an animal. However, I hope you will pray for Danny or pray that Jeff and I find the strength and wisdom to choose what is best for this wonderful dog.

Catching some rays

I let Danny out this afternoon and he immediately rolled over and over in the grass.

When Danny stopped, he just stretched out on his side with his eyes closed and did not move. I called to him, but he just continued to lay there.

I went over to Danny, thinking that perhaps he was having a seizure. I looked closely, but there was no shaking. Danny slowly opened one eye and gave me a smile.

It's then I realized he was just soaking up the sunshine. I sat with him for a few minutes and thought this really does feel good.

Maybe dogs know the secret to the good life after all!

Divvying up the silver

I read an interesting article in Business Week (6-9-08) about how people divide their estates before/after their death. Estate planning has come up in several conversations recently, so I thought I would share what I learned.

Many people create the standard list and assign a name to each item. Some people put colored dots on the backs of items and say blue is for x and red goes to y. If you are doing either of these, the article suggests you explain why one child gets x and not y, so there are no misunderstandings later. It turns out that these 2 methods may not be legally binding!

The article also says you should ask your heirs what they would like. You may be surprised to find out they have no interest in x but really want y. One family had a "select your favorite items" Thanksgiving (when everyone was gathered together).

If you have only one every expensive item, and child A gets that item, then child B should get more money.

The most interesting idea was the auction. A women who was downsizing had an appraiser estimate the worth of her possessions. She then divide the value by the number of heirs (ex. $400K/4 kids = $100K each). She then allowed each child to select up to 100K of items that they wanted.

The biggest thing that I learned was that if you discuss splitting your estate while you are alive, it will make it much easier for your family after you are gone.

Missing

Maddy and Paddy have disappeared. I assume that they have migrated to their summer home.

The last few days, the ducks were coming 3-4 times a day for a snack. At that time, Jeff said they are getting ready to leave and he was right.

The life of a wild duck cannot be easy, you have to survive the wild predators and the hunters. I never know if Maddy and Paddy will return or if this is the last time we will see them.

With any luck, they will join us again next spring.

Veriegated Weigela

The most precious bush in our garden is now in bloom.

Our first weigela was planted at our first home in NC.

We have moved twice since then and we always plant one to remind us of NC and the happy memories of our time there.

It's here

Our new dishwasher has been delivered and installed!

The installer said we picked a good one. He has a Bosch dishwasher and loves how quiet it is.

The installer also said that there has been a large slow down in installations as fewer people buy new appliances.

Once we fill the dishwasher up, I will get to see just how quiet this is.