Sunday, May 17, 2009
The Longest Night of My Life
On Thursday, May 8th, 2003 I remember getting a call on my drive home. Jake had a seizure and Valerie was frantic. I arrived at home about 30 minutes later to a dazed and confused Jake and a more confused Valerie.
We put Jake in the car and rushed to the after-hours vet clinic. Half way there, he had another seizure and we pulled to the side of the road to comfort him during his agony. The clinic kept him overnight and pumped him full of anti-seizure medicine to stop the convulsions.
We brought him to his regular vet the next day and plotted out a course of action. He would be weaned off the high doses of anti-seizure medication to a point where he was functioning but not having convulsions. As the week drew on, Jake became more aware of his surroundings and we become more and more hopeful.
Hope came to an end on Friday, May 16th. As we finished cleaning up after dinner, Jake had his first seizure since he was on medication. About 60 minutes later, another one longer and more violent than the first. We doubled his dose and made a plan to see the Vet the next day. Then came another, and another. The choice was clear. Jake couldn't even make it up the stairs to go to bed, so we slept with him on the floor that night.
I didn't sleep a wink that night. The choice couldn't have been clearer but it still bothered me. When he was on the table about to take his last breath, he looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes that said "Thank You Papa."
Six years have gone by and I still see those eyes.
Danny gave me the same look before his passing. I hope to never see it in Cooper.